SURPRISE! …crazy hair

Soooo… surprise, surprise I messed around with my hair. But this shouldn’t be a surprise at this point if you know me. I’ve been golden blonde, platinum blonde, brown, black, red, purple-ish brown, and pink tips. Now it’s purple ombré.

I have been putting some color in my hair for the past few months, but it’s been difficult getting it to stick and stay vibrant. So I ran to CVS and grabbed the boldest and most promising dye — splat “rain.” It came with three dyes: bleach, pinkish purple, and blueish purple. I skipped the bleach in order to prevent extra damage, figuring my hair is already super light. Above is my “before” shot.

Had to change into something I didn’t mind getting stained. Opted for an old high school shirt. Here’s my “during” shot, not-so-patiently waiting for the rinse.

Took a very pink shower (hair dye EVERYWHERE!!!) And probably had to spend a good 15 minutes or so just letting the dye wash out. I was torn between “if I rinse too long, the dye might come out and lose vibrancy” and “if I don’t rinse long enough, I’m going to stain my entire apartment.” Luckily I ended up somewhere in the middle.

After the hair coloring was complete, I cut my bangs for the final touch… ta-da!!!

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let it be…

I made a new friend somewhat recently. It was a colorful adventure getting to know them. We seemed different at first and then I saw perhaps we were too similar. They were funny and unique, with a wonderful smile. But there was trouble. The friendship could not work. And it was a lot harder for me to accept that than it was for them. I kept looking for opportunities to resolve the confusion and anxiety. I wish I could have an honest conversation with them. But this is something that can’t just be “fixed.” Grieving means riding out the pain instead of finding instant gratification. I’ll hold on to the good memories and try to forget about the bad ones. I’ll listen to Grateful Dead or Elton John or Black Sabbath and be reminded of them. I care about them so much, and I want them to know that, but not if that means scaring them away. They are still in my life but they are not fully there anymore. What was once a spotlight is now a shadow. I’m fighting with the universe and convincing myself there has to be a way that we could be closer without any pain. This is a battle that nobody can win. And so I breathe, I live in the moment, I do my yoga, and I let it be…

PA Renaissance Faire

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I went to a renaissance faire this weekend with Kevin and I really loved it! There was a lot of little shops selling super cute stuff like homemade candles & soaps, herbs, crystals, jewelry, etc. There were games and performances. And there was good food and alcohol. The whole atmosphere was really awesome because it was like an escape from reality into a whole different world.

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Day 31: going forward, how can you commit to loving yourself every day?

I’ve completed my self-love challenge and it may have taken me a bit more than thirty days but I still got it done! The reason I chose the whole “self love” thing is because I was fixated too hard on something other than myself, causing a huge imbalance in my life. I saw that I stopped caring about myself completely, I wasn’t putting in the work or effort to fully take care of myself, I was ignoring myself. We all need to put ourselves first, but not in a selfish way. Instead of trying to change someone, make those positive changes for yourself. Take care of your skin, your body, your fitness, your diet, your emotions, and do whatever you can to keep growing. I do feel a lot more balanced since I started the challenge. I’m much more focused on keeping myself healthy, happy, and working towards my goals and dreams.

 

Day 29: What words/beliefs do you want to live by?

There’s a strong belief I try to follow… it’s that everything is love… and any pain we feel is only an illusion. At times it can be very challenging for me to believe this, but it’s something I’ve always felt in my heart. And it is a very healing thought. We are conditioned to believe that we live in a world of separation and our senses deceive us. But we are all one… we all came from the same atom and we all experience the same exact universal emotions and conditions. It just all seems to be happening at different times and places, but time & space is an illusion… no amount of time or space can make you stop loving someone because there was no actual separation in your hearts. After someone dies, we can still feel them. We can know how a stranger feels just by seeing them and feeling their energy. When you hurt someone, you are hurting yourself… when you’re mad at someone, you’re much angrier at yourself… when you heal someone, you heal yourself… when make someone happy, you make yourself happy. Things we do to hurt one another, whether conscious or not, comes from our deep-rooted fear that we’re alone. All those times you thought your life was ruined, or that no one cared, it was all an illusion. Clear away that fog of fear and you find truth, which is love.